Things happen FOR me

In A Thousand Names for JoyByron Katie says:

Everything happens FOR you, not TO you.

When I first read that statement, it took me by surprise. I went back and re-read it.

But, the more I think about it, the more it resonates with me.

It makes sense to me that everything that's going on around me is supportive to me in some way.

I admit that it's not always apparent to me what the benefits of some "difficulties" are.

However, I've noticed that, since I've adopted the attitude that everything happens FOR me, I've felt a lot more open to waiting and finding out what the benefits are when they're not immediately obvious.

That openness feels much calmer than the knee-jerk reactions that used to be more common in me.

Reality spectacles

After completing Byron Katie's Judge Your Neighbour Worksheet a few times, I feel as if I have a new set of glasses through which to view my world.

The transformation is amazing.

My judgemental thoughts about the so called problem dissolve, my story about it evaporates, and happiness replaces suffering.

It's hard to describe. As the saying goes, I had to experience it to believe it.

I've found that the process does require some humility. Each time I've completed the worksheet, I've discovered that I have been guilty of the fault that I'd been seeing in someone else. As Katie says, "Forgiveness is the discovery that what you thought happened, didn’t."

However, any price that I've paid has been more than worth it. A few moments of embarrassment quickly have given way to relief and joy.

Non-Duality Authors

The Non-Duality authors whom I've read so far are:

• Byron Katie
• Jean Klein
• Francis Lucille
• Rupert Spira
• Eckhart Tolle
• Nathan Gill
• "Sailor" Bob Adamson
• Robert Scheinfeld (I consider his Non-Duality phase to have begun with his Being In Truth online course)

I've found the writings of all of these authors to be supportive.

However, speaking for myself, I find Byron Katie's material the most accessible.

Later edited to add Lao Tzu, author of the Tao Te Ching. I keep Stephen Mitchell's translation on my bedside table, and continually re-read it.

Loving What Is

I recently stumbled on a booklet entitled An excerpt from Loving What Is : Four questions that can change your life by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell.

I have done the questionnaire, and have found it enormously supportive.

I was so inspired that I placed an Amazon order for two of Katie's books:

• Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
• A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are

The books still are in the mail, so I can't comment on them in more detail, but am looking forward to receiving them.

If you want to try Katie's questionnaire yourself, here's a PDF version of The Little Book.

As Katie says, everything you need in order to do what she calls "The Work" is available for free on her website.

With that having been said, I wanted to delve into "The Work" in more depth, so I ordered the books mentioned above.

The "blind" border guard

I loved the anecdote at the beginning of this Tony Parsons video.

Choice

Jean Klein made a statement that fascinated me when I first encountered it.

He said that, whenever choice was in the picture, the ego was involved.

He said that, when the ego stepped aside, there was no choice.

He used the example of a tightrope walker. He said that a tightrope walker never wondered if he should step to the left or to the right.

He said that a person who was Conscious, who was not motivated by the ego, was as clear about the appropriateness of his action as a tightrope walker was about his next step.

I have not yet stepped over that threshold where I am living in Consciousness.

For me there often is doubt about what to do next.

But what I am finding is that I am intervening less and less.

More and more, I am letting things unfold naturally.

I am less inclined to try to rescue situations, to try to persuade people about what they should do, to make decisions on behalf of others, etc.

Since reading Klein's statement about choice, I've noticed the occasions on which I've been faced with choices. I've acknowledged that ego has been involved.

Then I've asked, "Why do I have to decide now?"

More often than not, the answer has been, "I don't have to decide now."

By the way, there is one little qualification to all this.

I don't think Klein was talking about inconsequential decisions, like what flavour of herbal tea to drink. Yes, when I look at my tea containers, I do sometimes ponder, "Will it be mint or chamomile?" At that moment there is a choice, but it's very brief. I just shrug and say, "Well, I had mint last time, so I'll change things up a bit and have chamomile this time."

Revised blog title

When I created this blog, I gave it the title of "My Spiritual Adventure."

It has just occurred to me that it would be more supportive to call it "A Spiritual Adventure."

The reason is that I am coming to see that I am not exploring Non-Duality.

There is no Judy to do the exploring.

As Jean Klein would put it, exploration is happening. That's all he would say.

He would not discuss it in terms of an explorer (subject) and that which is being explored (object).

He would say that both subject and object appear within Consciousness, that they are One.

Unlike those who have realized the Truth, I still experience myself as a separate "I." In my case, the I-thought has not evaporated.

Yet, with all this exposure to the writings of Rupert Spira, Francis Lucille and Jean Klein, I am finding that my use of language is changing.

As long as I'm being this technical, I may as well admit that I now find the term "Adventure" a bit suspect too.

Adventure suggests a series of experiences that are continuous in time. It might be more helpful to use a word that has a more timeless quality.

However, if you create a blog, you have to start somewhere, so I'm not beating myself up about this.

Pain

Early this morning I woke up with a cramp in my left calf.

This happens from time to time.

I've heard that it helps to take a daily calcium supplement, which I do.  I think the frequency of my leg cramps has declined since I've been taking the calcium supplements.  But, so far, the leg cramps have not been eliminated altogether.

My usual strategy when I feel a muscle cramp is to rub my leg vigorously.  After a few minutes the cramp subsides. 

But, as long as the cramp has lasted, it has felt painful and very uncomfortable.  At least that was the judgement that I used to place on it and the language that I previously employed to describe it.  

This morning, having recently read about pain in "The Ease of Being," I took a new approach.

Jean Klein says that you cannot simultaneously experience a sensation and have a thought about that sensation.  The sensation itself and the thought about it are two separate things.

They happen in very quick succession, so we typically think of them as one, but actually they're different.

So first there is the sensation, and then split seconds later there are the thoughts about the sensation.  

There are the naming of the sensation (pain), a judgement of the sensation (it's bad), and a desire for the sensation to go away.

This time I had the presence of mind to listen to the sensation.  I tried not to label it, judge it, or control it.  I managed to maintain an attitude of open curiosity towards it.

To my surprise, the sensation subsided and disappeared very quickly -- much more quickly than has been the case when I've rubbed my calf.

 

Acceptance = Listening

I have found it challenging to accept everything in my life, as Eckhart Tolle recommends in "The Power of Now."

Sometimes the best I can do is grit my teeth and grudgingly endure a situation.

In Jean Klein's writing I came across a concept that felt more supportive to me.  Klein says that accepting a situation means listening to it.

Klein goes on to say that listening, in this sense, is not something that you do with just your ears.  Rather, you listen with your whole being.

You patiently listen, without an agenda or a deadline, and the situation gradually reveals itself to you.

Perhaps the situation simply evaporates.

Or, if it continues, you slowly come to see it in a larger context. 

Whatever happens, there is likely to be some sort of movement.  You probably won't feel as stuck as you previously did. 

Listening feels to me like an easier recommendation to follow than accepting.  

  

Situations

The ego needs situations in order to survive.

A situation can be good or bad.  It doesn't matter, as long as it's a situation.

Without a situation to latch onto, the ego will die.

If there is one thing the ego does not want to do, it's to die!

It will fight tooth and nail to survive.  

So, if one problem is resolved, my ego will create another problem. 

The thing is, though, that as long as I identify exclusively with my ego (my personality), I am shut off from my heart (Consciousness).    

I encountered this idea in "The Ease of Being" by Jean Klein.  

Since then I've been noticing situations in my life and acknowledging them as situations.  Just being aware that they may be playing this role -- that is, feeding my ego -- seems helpful in detaching from them to some extent.  I am just that little bit more aware that I don't need them.

Snow Globe

Teachers of Advaita Vedanta (Non-Duality) say that I am not who I think I am.

Judy is an appearance that pops up within Consciousness.  

Everything else that makes up my world -- other people, situations, etc. -- also are appearances within Consciousness.  

At first it was quite something for me to wrap my mind around that idea.  

Then an image came to me that helped me to visualize the concept.

I thought of a snow globe. 

The people in my life and I are like the reindeer, fir trees, etc., in the globe.  The snow flakes that fly around when the globe is shaken represent the dramas that my ego gets caught up in.

Consciousness is something like the kid watching the snow flakes doing their thing in the globe.

Well, that's a very crude analogy -- and not a really accurate one either.

Consciousness and the appearance that arises within it actually are One.  There are not two things.  

Nonetheless, for an extreme beginner on the path towards Non-Duality, the snow globe image feels supportive.  When I'm in the middle of a "problem," it helps me to imagine Consciousness watching what's going on in my snow globe world.  It helps me to feel just a little more detached from the situation.