Letting go of the "little me"

In an earlier post, I mentioned that I was re-reading What’s Wrong with Right NOW unless you think about it?

On this reading, the book is turning out to be a gem. It’s interesting that a couple of years ago I found it merely okay. Back then I didn’t understand why reviewers raved about it. Now I would say I’ve joined the fan club.

This time around, I’ve been finding it very interesting to see what Bob Adamson has to say about the entity that most of us think of as “I” or “me.” I find that he provides a very clear explanation of this.

As I’m making my way through this book, I’m finding myself relaxing more and more. Increasingly I seem to be letting go of “me,” that is, the apparent me that previously felt a heavy burden of responsibility for ensuring that things turned out okay. I’m relinquishing goals and desired outcomes.

The image I had of myself, which was based on my past, is loosening its grip on me. I worry less about the future. On examination, I find that many of my fears centred on the survival of the “little me” and maintenance of the little me’s ongoing membership of “the club.” (“Club” is my multi-purpose label for any reference group to which I may feel attached.)

With greater – but not yet perfect – consistency, I am trusting Intelligence Energy to work things out. (Intelligence Energy is one of several terms that Bob uses for Universal Consciousness.)

I am living more in the NOW.

As I’m easing my demands on myself, I’m finding my judgements of other people letting up. I feel warm towards them and enjoy their company.

As so many Non-Duality authors have stated, Universal Consciousness is like a mirror. The apparent other people with whom I interact, the apparent “me” that interacts with them, and the apparent events in which we apparent entities participate are like reflections in the mirror. Regardless of whether the events are “good” or “bad,” and regardless of whether we feel “happy” or “sad” about them, they can have no more effect on my essence (Universal Consciousness) than a reflection has on the mirror in which it’s reflected.

Bob uses another analogy that I don’t remember seeing elsewhere in Non-Duality literature. He talks about a mirage. He says it looks so like water, you could swear it was water. Yet, he asks, can the mirage wet your shoes? I like that metaphor! When I find something disturbing, I ask myself, “Can this situation wet my shoes?” That quickly puts things into perspective for me.

What's wrong with right NOW?

After a two-year interval, I am re-reading What’s wrong with right NOW unless you think about it? by “Sailor” Bob Adamson.

This book had been recommended to me close to the beginning of my exploration of Non-duality.

Although I did get something out of it back then, it resonates with me a lot more now.

Adamson’s style is less accessible to me than the writings of Rupert Spira, Francis Lucille, Jean Klein, Nathan Gill and, above all, Byron Katie.

However, it has felt supportive to me to read different authors. Each one expresses the same concept a little differently. The cumulative effect is a growing insight into the nature of Reality.

Certainly it feels good to have included “Sailor” Bob’s book in the mix.

My current reading of What’s wrong with right now? is reminding me that I – the “little me” that I think of as Judy – can do nothing.

Bob uses the analogy of a poker that’s red hot when it’s been in the fire. My imagining that I have power is like the poker’s imagining that it is the source of its own heat. Of course, if the poker is removed from the fire, it cools down.

The reason that I’ve appeared to have done this or that during my life is the result of my having been a channel for what Bob calls Presence Awareness. There are other names for It – Universal Consciousness, God, etc. It is That One that actually has done everything that I’ve previously attributed to Judy.

Recently I’ve faced several challenges. Whenever I’ve wondered how I’ll meet tight deadlines, how I’ll do something that appears complicated, and so on, I’ve felt overwhelmed. When I’ve reminded myself that I am not the doer, have let go of results, and have regarded myself as an instrument of The One, things have flowed.